floating over the abyss

I’m writing to no one in particular. I’m writing for myself. This scenario is tricky for me as I do not value myself highly. I’m working hard on this recurring issue every day.

I do not care about my own feelings, which has been very problematic. I can write whatever I want here; yet, I see page after page of self-loathing. I don’t like this. I want to change this. I want to write feminist screenplays and stories full of social commentary about class and history and technology. However, this is what I wind up with. To be clear, I do not write outside of this blog.

It is a struggle to even write on this blog each day as I feel incredibly discouraged that no one reads it and also incredibly terrified that anyone could read it.

I want to write prolifically and meaningfully for myself. I have absolutely no idea how to do that. I guess I could learn by practicing. This could be one path toward that. After all, I am writing while carrying all of this fear and insecurity.

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