let’s make a deal

What are you looking at me for?

Do you want sympathy or commiseration?

Are you looking for a witty comment?

Want to hear a light-hearted story?

Oh, dear, I am not offering any of that today or anytime in the near future. The kitchen is closed and the cooks have all gone home.

I will be civil. I will be polite. Or, at least I plan to be these things.

I will not be listening to your problems though. I will not be sympathetic to your neuroses. I won’t even tell you any of this.

Why?

Because you insult me when I’m depressed and scrambling for a bit of self-worth. Because you see that I’m struggling and kick me in the teeth.

Enjoy your diet.

Enjoy your sarcasm.

I certainly don’t.