can we get 20 minutes on the clock?

I had to try a new hairstylist tonight. God forced my hand on that one. I had an appointment on Tuesday morning, which I had made over a month in advanced. I was all prepared to go when I received a call from the salon saying that Natalie wasn’t available, but they could offer me someone else. No worries, I replied, I can come back when she’s available. How about next week?

That’s when the receptionist became a bit shaky. Well, I couldn’t come back another time because Natalie wouldn’t be there any time. I was surprised and said that I didn’t want to come in after all, but she wound up talking me into an appointment for tonight, which is how we landed here.

I didn’t want to change stylists. I don’t know what happened with Natalie. I assume she quit because she seemed to have a strong work ethic and was very creative. I assume it was quite dramatic because the salon had confirmed my appointment as recently as Sunday.

I struggle with haircuts because it triggers my body image issues. Pretty much anything that involves mirrors, clothes, advertisements, and other people triggers my body image issues. It would be quirky if it didn’t feel so oppressive.

Haircuts are tough because you basically stare at yourself in the mirror and make small talk with someone that you see once every few months. Plus, there’s the added layer of how that person is working for you, so you want to be cordial and respectful. It is a social conundrum.

I don’t understand how some people can vent to hairstylists for the better part of an hour about their personal lives. I don’t get it. Is that some form of compulsive oversharing? What about a person holding a scissor near your neck makes you feel compelled to dramatize the details of your divorce?

I was bothered in part because this new stylist recognized that I knew someone whose hair she already cuts. I resented this because this other person only started going to that salon because I started going to that salon first. Before you judge me, hear me out. This other person and I had been going to two totally different salons and both spoke about trying this salon out. I suggested that we both go together and try it out. She refused and I wound up trying it myself. Once it was working out for me, she agonized about whether to switch. I had to listen to her constantly bemoan that her old hair stylist might see that she switched. I listened to this for several months!

Then, when she switched, she asked me multiple times for the name of my stylist only to use a different stylist. That bothered me less, but struck me as strange. Then, she wanted me to switch to her stylist, which struck me as very strange.

That’s why I was so bothered when this stylist started talking to me about this other person and telling me how funny she is. It was frankly annoying. I don’t need to hear about how great someone else is, especially when that person treats me poorly. No thanks. Obviously, the stylist wouldn’t know all these details, so I had to repress it.

As though I’m not upset enough at this point, I find out that this person who had committed to going somewhere with me next week went today without telling me. I didn’t even want to go out with her! I was going to do her a favor! And, she had the nerve to go without me and act like she would have told me, but I was too short with her! How do certain people get away with that? With flipping the script on me every damn day. It is beyond frustrating. I want out of this whole city most of the time. My life is too interconnected with this place and it makes me miserable and triggered and hopeless. I know you’re not supposed to run away from your problems, but I really want to sometimes.