personalized guilt

It is hard to not take everything in this world personally. I struggle with this in nearly every aspect of my life.

I’m watching an international adventure show. I thought it would be a fun escape from my own thoughts. Instead, seeing dozens of people from all over the world trek through the wilderness with no sleep and limited water makes me acutely aware of my negative body image and lack of exercise during the pandemic.

Why am I doing this to myself? I can enjoy the show without making it a negative experience, can’t I?

I also feel insecure about my choices today. I spent it with someone who consistently undermines my self-worth. I had my reasons for engaging with this person, but it was still tough even with knowing what to expect.

The day was challenging. I want to prioritize myself tomorrow. No favors for anyone else. No undermining myself for anyone else’s comfort. For me, all of that is easier said than done.